You are responsible for your mental health.

In recent years I’ve met a lot of people who externalize their issues. They demand the world to fit around their triggers, their problems and they sometimes demand the people around them to provide constant reassurance and essentially hold them up.

Now, I have dealt with anxiety since I remember. I have neurosis, I have health anxiety. I had the most entertaining trigger (the exorcist and anything similar) and also less fancy one of posters proposing health check ups to early detect cancer. I also experienced panic attacks, I had a mental breakdown.

Because I have this experience and because I am healing from it and some components of it I totally recovered from (health anxiety and triggers). I can tell you that personal responsibility, seeing that: ‘Yes! I am the problem!’ and not the world is one of the key steps I took. I never demanded reassurance, I never demanded coddling. Why? Because it’s not constructive, it’s addictive instead. What’s constructive is speaking with someone be it your friend, partner or therapist in a way that lead to insight.

What does that mean to be take responsibility? It means to seek and admit the truth. Do you really want to get better? What components of your issues are you attached to? What components of your issues work for you and you actually don’t want to solve them? Why are you angry when someone points out your behavior? Why you prefer to take ‘I am helpless’ attitude?

I’ve upset someone today by suggesting that I am not entitled to constant validation, constant attention and constant reassurance from my partner just because I have mental issues. I was speaking about myself but I guess this person felt called out because they were speaking about themselves being ‘needy’ and feeling entitled to be ‘needy’ because they are suffering with anxiety. That’s not how it works, that is getting comfortable in your misery bed. You are not entitled to anything from anyone. That is the truth and if it makes you mad… well, you will be mad a lot!

Now, why am I saying all this?

Because projecting is not healing.

World coddling you is not empowering.

If you want to get better then it is a journey and on this journey you need first decide that it is all coming from INSIDE of you and it is all going to be solved WITHIN you.

That’s empowerment.